You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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