I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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