its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
