she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
