Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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