I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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