oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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