so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
