i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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