I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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