mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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