Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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