im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize