just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
