dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
