go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
