Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This is the high leading the old right now
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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