I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
