Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
