if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
