So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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