i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
ttyl tear gas
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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