One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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