Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
