Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
pop tarts are not kleenex
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
