Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
