you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
