I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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