Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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