I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
