dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we're making bets on your personal life
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
