Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am puke
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Randomize
