I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
