I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize