So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
