As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
