My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
do nipples grow back?
Randomize