and you said cock pushups were impossible
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
