I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
