we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
