Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
