you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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