people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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