we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
