CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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