it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
there is puke in my bra ... again
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
