my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
