I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
