just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
