too bad you live with your parents still
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
