yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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