no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
