I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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