Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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