Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
