tell your sister to shave her snatch
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
