a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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