...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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