Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
