I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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