Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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