his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
tell me about the eggs
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